You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
