just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
