Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
