I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
