marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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