hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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