come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
