They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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