either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
