The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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