i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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