you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
