Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My breasts were aching with rage.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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