I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
