Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We left the knife in your bed.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
