Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
