I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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