I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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