God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
