apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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