Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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