made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
