I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
