Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
