don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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