the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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