She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
