He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
