If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
