I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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