Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
ugly people sure do ruin things
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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