I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
