some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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