I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
