In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
