is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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