dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
