She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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