hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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