Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
