I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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