We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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