I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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