my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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