Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
