normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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