i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
