the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
