that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
