Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
